Feast with your eyes but not your mouth on these Omega Mart products.
One thing that makes food more delectable is its visual appeal. But sometimes our eyes deceive us (looking right at you, Tide pods) and things that look gross taste incredible or things that look really yummy taste awful or, in this case, inedible.
These Omega Mart products are definitely not foods so we suggest not eating them if you care for your health. Feast with your eyes but not your mouth.
Bad news from your boss? Can’t find your car? Open a box of our Biz’Ez Forever Cereal and pour it all over those challenges in your life. Our patented formula actively dissolves anything resembling a difficult experience and immediately liquifies it into a smooth, mild, inedible paste.
Dinner conversation is always “This meat is cooked perfectly” and “What did you learn at school?” Never a single thought or question to the peppers at the table that bring sweetness, spice, and a bit of angst sometimes. Next time, ask the kids to ponder why humankind mistakenly perceives order within the relentless chaos of nature instead of listening to them go on and on about unicorns and who bit who in class today.
Even though it looks like sugary delicious fillers you need to power through the day, just pick something simpler, like an overeasy egg and freshly churned butter on a toasted homemade biscuit.
Baking cookies is so time consuming. Cut right to the most important ingredient with this “home freshening spray” and infuse every single thing you own with the intoxicating aroma of butter. Does not belong on toast.
Looks like it belongs right next to a hot cup of coffee. Smells like puppies and freshly laundered socks. Tastes like you absolutely should not eat this because the reverse plush named Shelby was put on this earth just to bake cookies and say “Bless your heart.”