Navigating Bones & Jealousy with Shelley

‍When should I pay money for information?

There are so many ways to look at this! Ultimately, it depends on the information. Does it cross a boundary? What is it about? A passion project? A strange obsession? A pure desire for knowledge? Or are you up late being a real freako? What’s up?

If it’s general information you’re looking for, there are so many things to explore before shellin’ out cash. Your local library… have you checked there? What about internet forums? A good fringe research group on Facebook has saved me hours of tireless research in a matter of minutes with the right question. Homies love to help homies!

If there’s a matter of consent, that becomes trickier! I suppose it really depends on the information itself but it is worth asking whether the content or the relationship matter more. If that’s even relevant! Are you searching for someone missing entirely, or missing emotionally, or missing who you both once were? Again, many things to explore before shellin’ out shells. I hope you’re asking the right questions, sweet baby.

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Hi Shelley, what's a healthy way to work through jealousy?

Terrible news: nobody knows if you have hurt feelings unless you let the person or persons know you have hurt feelings. But don’t worry, this is actually an opportunity to deepen your bond with your loved ones! Talk about it openly with whoever the object of your jealousy is, if you’re able to do so in a way that feels good for both of you. Identify what is making you feel jealous and that may help how you talk about it. Approach your own feelings with compassionate curiosity, no judgment for being a sweet little meaty baby with synapses and experiences. Don’t shy away from it, but also don’t ruminate or let it consume you whole. You’ll make yourself have an even worse time for no reason at all. Just be curious and let it go when you’re ready.

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Do you ever wish to experience bones?

Yes for calcium density and because I would like to be a big strong boygirlshrimpguy, ultimately though, no, because skeletons are so scary.

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Hi Shelley, how do I stop worrying about the balance of creativity output and finances?

I gather (from prolific crustacean intuition) that your creative output and finances are enmeshed. It becomes increasingly difficult to output a creative endeavor when you have to worry about Human Stressors like Rent, and Bills, and Scandinavian Payment Plans. In a deep enmeshment, uncoupling can be the most helpful. And in this instance, take time to reconnect with what made you love the creative output.

Make something for yourself first, with gentle insistence, without force or expectation. Let your mind wander as it needs, but return to the task at hand consistently. Approaching something lovingly is the best way to remind yourself that you do love it, and is a good way to remind it that you love it too.

Alternatively, if you’re too deep in it, now is the perfect time to try a different outlet with the same brain capacity. Are you a painter by trade? Sculpt! Write! Dance! Photograph! Weld! Sing! Kickbox! DJ! The possibilities are endless, creativity is boundless, you are limitless!

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Shelley, recommend one of your favourite books to me!

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski! Really excellent and true account of The Navidson Record.