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Photo by Atlas Media
The ETNL Community Radio Station at Meow Wolf Houston’s newest exhibition, Radio Tave, is going through an emotional transition – one of their crew members is leaving to tave in the multiverse. The crew members individually curated some internal playlists to commemorate Robin’s send-off. In order to truly understand these playlists, I spoke to them collectively.
This is the playlist we play at every ETNL BBQ with some going away additions! As music director of ETNL, it’s my duty to educate the kids on the greatest decade of music – the 1990s. I let Isidora and Cooper add a few things here and there. I never got into Blink-182, and I think Isidora meant it as a joke, but we all cried when it played. We all went to see Barbie as a team and Cooper spent a few weeks making lists of lesbian anthems for us to listen to afterwards, so Indigo Girls was a no-brainer.
Robin is the glue of ETNL. Once we were in The Glen, I saw him as a natural stand in for Aaron after the whole transforming-into-coral thing happened. Robin is the one who went out the front door into the strangeness of this place first! He came back with food. His leaving is a great loss, but the adventure he’s about to go on is incredible.
Are you kidding? Everyone LOVES this mix. I’m sure he’s conflicted about leaving, but he’s about to make a HUGE step into… something! We don’t know what’s out there! That’s why Cooper gave him devices to keep in contact. We’re going to talk to him as much as possible AND get to air more episodes of Confessions of a Taver.
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We pre-recorded a good amount of stuff to air while we said goodbye to Robin, you can listen to that in the archive on etnl.radio. But with this new community of listeners, I think that sharing my BBQ playlist feels good. We’re so grateful to have people who care about what we’re doing at ETNL.
Robin and I definitely haven’t broken up!! Idk if we’re even together, it’s so confusing!! But in any case we’re in the multiverse’s longest distance relationship ever, and most days I don’t even know where Robin is. We don’t exactly have a quick and easy way to talk to each other. These days we communicate by radio, which sounds romantic but it’s also super devastating, especially because we only talked about this stuff right before he left. I… might love him??? Idk! Honestly, I both love and hate Robin’s taving ambitions, like obviously I would never hold him back, but… I miss him, you know? There’s a secret little part of me that kind of feels betrayed. I’m working those feelings out with this playlist.
For me, the broadcast comes first. I’m super passionate about my job and ETNL and our Taver community of listeners. But, this playlist is just for me. I have others in a folder on my computer called “ISIDORA’S PERSONAL STUFF DO NOT BROADCAST!!!” which should tell you everything you need to know about my intention to broadcast it. But this particular playlist really lets me get into my feelings, and right now, it’s important for me to have my personal songs and for it to be secret. But recently I noticed that a couple of songs are in a different order?? Like someone’s been messing with it? The only person that would do that is Daniel…
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I would never send this to Robin, because I don’t want him to feel bad! I’m doing my best to put on a brave face for everyone, including myself most of the time. But late at night when I’m alone in Studio 1 working on the next day’s broadcast, I put this playlist on and let myself feel everything I need to feel. It’s cathartic! Music was really important to me and Robin. We would frequently meet up after work and listen to weird alien records together. There’s definitely part of me that wishes I could send this playlist to Robin, just to show him how I feel, but that wouldn’t be fair. I support him!! And I’m happy that he’s found his taving ability within himself, because it makes him happy. And that makes me happy. Most of the time!
Omg, yes. I’m not afraid of my own emotions and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I mostly don’t believe in suffering in silence… because venting about stuff on the air is great for ratings! You know I’m talking about Robin and my feelings on the air. Our listeners expect it! They’re invested in the story at this point. But honestly, I’m also good at brushing off my feelings and getting down to business, and being professional. Making this playlist is a way to give my yearning an outlet.
I wasn’t snooping, I promise! I was looking around the shared drive, looking for a playlist I’d made for an episode of Daniel’s Deep Cuts, and I found a folder of playlists… and I just love music, I couldn’t help it, I started listening to the latest one, which happened to be Isidora’s playlist about Robin. I just can’t resist a playlist! I made a copy of it and sent it to my computer, and late that night, I gave it a listen. And I can admit that I cried. A lot. It’s a great playlist! Look, Isidora isn’t the only member of the team that’s a yearner. I’ve lost a lot lately. I miss my kids, who are back on Earth, and I miss my best friend, Aaron, who just recently decided to pursue life as a coral being. I have big feelings! But now that Aaron has transformed, I’ve needed to step up more as a leader, and I’ve had to bottle some stuff up because of that. So to cope, I stay up late at night and listen to some music that lets all my emotions come tumbling out. And it both warms and breaks my heart to think that Isidora is downstairs, doing the same thing.
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How did you get this? Isidora has the only copy. I made it on a blank cassette that I found in the rack room. I sat with Aaron in the Glowquarium and went over the playlist. He didn’t “say” anything, he’s become one with the Glen and all, but I felt like he understood what I was going for.
I don’t know if I could listen to it. I hope Isidora does though. When I’m taving I tend to not listen to things, you have to focus and I use rhythm to do that.
That’s really personal.
Is there a hidden message in this playlist?
These songs are all about waiting to leave but staying. And knowing that you have to go. They are all bands I love or songs that mean something to me. They are all songs that I want Isidora to hear.
