Is there a monster lurking the loneliest trails of The Convergence? According to the Yawlp Affirmation Society, yes, absolutely – a Sorry Monster, in fact. This peculiar creature, the incredibly shy, awkward Yawlp, does indeed exist.
How do I know if I’ve seen a Yawlp?
Yawlp tend to stick to the fringes of The Convergence, far away from crowds. If you see a large, hairy, toothsome creature with chicken feet and glowing eyes, eating garbage and knocking over trash cans, it is probably a Yawlp.
What do I do if I see a Yawlp?
You may experience a brief sensation of secondhand awkwardness or smell an intense odor before encountering a Yawlp. If you see one on your Convergence travels, use a payphone to report it immediately to the Yawlp VOCS Line, which is operated by two retired QDOT employees, leaders of The Yawlp Affirmation Society (YAS), Fred and May Cotter. If you are browsing through photos and are lucky enough to spot the odd Yawlp, use #YawlpSighting to alert the YAS.
Is it ok to pet a Yawlp?
The Yawlp get very anxious and skittish around crowds, which is why this curious creature has gone undocumented for so many years. When approached, Yawlp in the wild will often run away, making apologetic noises and experiencing an emotion called “litost,” which are difficult feelings resulting from self-awareness.
Of course, it’s important to remember that Yawlp are more scared of you than you are of them.
How can I learn more?
The Yawlp is a prominent figure in Convergence pop culture. Check out the Yawlp boat research vessel for fun multimedia treats like direct-to-DVD movies, pulp novels, and the YAS newsletter. Of course, nothing would compare to a firsthand encounter, but we wouldn’t hold our breath (unless a stinky Yawlp is nearby).