Celebrating 5 Years of Omeg-cellence!

It’s the fifth anniversary of Alpha products and Omega savings in Las Vegas!

February 12, 2026

February 9, 2026

An Omega Mart employee stands in the aisle with a bright Omega sign above them.

Additional Contributions by Jordan Rumsey, Amanda Siroskey

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It’s hard to believe it’s been 1825 days (speaking of, have you been taking your One A Year Vitamins?) since Omega Mart first opened its doors in Las Vegas and introduced its plausible values and unexpectable products to shoppers around the worlds! In celebration of our anniversary, we’re taking a look at some of the most exceptional moments and milestones from our five years of service!

Most Exceptional Review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

‍“My visit filled me with a sense of something that I had forgotten: wonder” – Art G

A family of shoppers are smiling and moving the light blue t-shirts on the t-shirt rack. — Happy Shoppers Perusing Through the *Omega Mart* T-Shirt Racks. Photo by Christopher Devargas

Most Acidic Review ⭐⭐⭐

‍“Meow Mix was confusing when you're a person that doesn't consume drugs.. I need more explanation. It was like an acid trip without the acid.” - Randall H.

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Most Purchasable Product

‍It’s no surprise that Omega Mart’s namesake cola is the clear winner, with 95,348 Omega Colas sold since we’ve opened.

Omega Mart Cola lined up on the shelves. In the center of the image is an insert of the shelf of Mr. Omega pointing to a sign that reads “Why? Just ask! It’s okay!” — Omega Cola. Photo by Kate Russell

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Honorable mentions go to the 66,592 mouths chewing on Doomed Expedition, the 89,223 Daikon Pals that have found loving homes, and the 24,810‍ people out there just walking around wearing a Tattoo Chicken shirt (and likely answering a lot of follow-up questions).

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Best New (not new) Flavor

With over 1 million ounces sold and counting, we have Gender Fluid. With industrial-strength, high performance packed in a little can, no one can wait to savor the pungently wonderful taste of lavender and lemon inside.

A white background with a small can with Gender Fluid and other "health" claims listed on the can. — Gender Fluid.

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Most Drank Drink

‍Some reasons to shop at Omega Mart are obvious, while others are a bit harder to find. Datamosh Bar provides shoppers with a (sometimes) much-needed break from the aisleways.

Guests sit at a bar counter with various beverages in front of them. In the forefront of the image, there is a man in a denim jacket holding his cup up in a cheers motion. The woman beside him is smiling and holding up her own drink to cheers with him. — Shoppers Take a Break to Enjoy Datamosh Bar. Photo by Christopher Devargas

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While Datamosh boasts exceptional and custom-made cocktails, the top seller of the year is Orange Dream. Made from the fresh-ish oranges and plenty of dreams, it’s perfectly refreshing!

pink drink with orange slice and swirly straw — Orange Dream at Datamosh Bar inside of *Omega Mart*. Photo by Laurent Velasquez

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Most Unsolicited Fruit-Based Medical Procedures

5 billion watermelon ultrasounds and counting. Because you deserve to know what’s in your melons.

The left and the right side of the photo are dark and,m in the center, there is a large circular watermelon cut open to reveal a spiral of red and orange lights that seem to go on forever — Infinity Watermelon, Available in the Plenty Valley Produce Section. Photo by Kate Russell

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More Notable Numbers

426 Micro-breaks Micromanaged

‍“Just as important as taking a break is knowing when it’s time to get back to work.” - Cecelia Dram, Dramcorp CEO

The employee breakroom has two tables in the center, each surrounded by three yellow chairs. There are more yellow chairs stacked in the corner and up against the wall. There’s a large tv on the wall, with an employee training video playing on loop. To the left of television is a cone system chart and to right of the tv is a bright red filing cabinet with an broken coffee pot on top. There are blue employee lockers along the wall near the filing cabinet. The ceiling has several water stains and there are pencils stuck on the ceiling as well. — *Omega Mart* Employee Micro-Break Room before opening. Photo by Kate Russell

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77 Billion Billion Receipts Recovered From the Bottom of Shopping Carts

‍We’re already on our way to beating this number in 2026!

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2,619,657,903 Abandoned Items Comforted, Re-Shelved

‍Can we get a team member to guest services to assist with go-backs?

A team member is wearing a red Omega Mart shirt and a blue Omega Mart apron. She is smiling while placing a container of Mammoth Chunks back onto the shelf. — An Omega Team member re-stocking our 10 trillionth item, Mammoth Chunks. Photo by Christopher Devargas

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23 Confirmed Chupacabra Sightings

‍We welcome all shoppers here at Omega Mart!

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Please Accept Our Apology!

‍We aren’t perfect, we’ll be the first to say it! Sometimes we make promises we are not able to deliver on, despite our best efforts. Is that due to supply chain issues? Maybe. A rift in the time-space continuum that has prevented us from sourcing your favorite products? Possibly. Either way, we take full responsibility and appreciate you accepting our 436 apologies over the years.

Blue and green goo oozes from a shelf above onto the bottom shelf. The goo has molded itself around a bottle of Natural Intentions household cleaner. There is a sign to the left featuring Mr. Omega looking apologetic and it reads “Please pardon our “dust”. — An Unfortunate Difficult Spill on Aisle ?

The most accepted apology? Unintentional Gene Splicing! Omega Mart thanks both Genes for their understanding.

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Join the Team!

A man is the focal point of the image, he is wearing a blue Omega Mart shirt, with a red Omega Mart apron. He is wearing thick black glasses and smiling broadly while giving a thumbs up. There is an arm extended from the right side of the photo holding the Omega Access card. — A team member providing an Omega Access Card to a newly minted *Omega Mart* employee. Photo by Christopher Devargas

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The only thing better than SAVING at Omega Mart is WORKING at Omega Mart! We have welcomed tens of thousands of new team members to the Dramily, and after rigorous employee training, those who took the Omega Oath became unofficial team members! Together, our exceptional staff members have “booped” their Omega Access cards a combined 11,914,097 times!

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More than Just a Store

As you can see, these five years have all been OMEGA Years and it’s all because of YOU! We want to thank you, loyal customers, for shopping with us and making Omega Mart the most exceptional store in this great experiment called America!

Come see us in-store sometime or find us on Facebook & Instagram.

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